Singing me to you

Faith > Reason

Matthew 17:14-20 talks about the story of the healing of a demon-possessed boy and the inability for Jesus' disciples to heal him.

After healing workshop today and conversation with an aunty, it suddenly dawned upon me a question - if Jesus says that we have faith as small as a mustard seed(Matthew 17:20); this small measurable and quantifiable faith, we would be able to move mountains (an analogy of problems, or in the context of my conversation with the aunty, healing the sick). But what does it mean when Jesus says to have faith as small as a mustard seed? - Does that mean that when we 'exercise' that faith, we still have doubts in us? how can we then exercise faith with reason? they surely can't go hand in hand

With that doubt in mind, i left church and took the usual 262 bus home. As i walked back home, i met a man in his mid-fifties who was asking for $2 so that he could buy some food to eat. My immediate reflex action was to avoid him cause i thought he was weird 1... 2, i was taught since young to avoid strangers cause they might pose a certain threat to me. 3, i stopped and turned back as i walked and saw this guy smoking! how can a person who affords to fork out $ buy cigarettes? I must be mad to believe that he was broke!

Angry, i turned and walked towards home. But as i walked, the verse spoke to me. "If i had faith as small as a mustard seed...." I didn't knew where this man was from and I don't even know his background. What if he was a cheat? What if I pulled out my note and he pulls out a knife to stab me? What if i give him the note and he wants more $? All these random thoughts came. But then one thought came and stood out amongst the rest - What if he needs someone to tell Him that Jesus loves him and cares for Him? $2 might mean nothing to me but it might mean something to him. Perhaps i used my own logic to reason myself out of this situation when i could actually/possibly try faith.

Before stepping up to the lift lobby, i pulled out a $2 note.... committed it to God and made the U-turn back where i avoided the man. If God meant for the man to still be there, he will be there i thought. As so he was, finished smoking and still trying to solicit for $2. I didn't really know what else to say but I just told him that Jesus loves him. He said that he believes but i doubted cause his hand was outstretched as thought he was just after my money. i then thought to myself, what could $2 possibly do?

As he continued to share why he was in need, I could smell tobacco in his breath as he was talking and instinctly, i told him to quite smoking. didn't know why i said that but i did it... i found out also that he has quit his job as a taxi driver and he just needs money desperately. i told him to trust in God and that he will provide... after that i was stumped for words so i just said again Jesus loves you and cares for you... afterward i left (he too, left).

Couldn't really make sense of this whole thing but i felt a peace within me believing that the $2 will go a long way... but what matters most was that I felt God had used me to share this love with Him, that really, Jesus does care for Him and the life that he's living now.. Who knows what would happen one day to that man's life? only God knows.. I only could pray that He will take that step of faith to really surrender his life to Jesus and turn back to God.

I read matthew 17:20 afterward.... and reading the verses before and after v20, i thank God for get some insight to the question i asked earlier

Quite possibly, I believed that the reason why I doubt(in Matt 17, the disciples doubted) is because i allowed reason to be greater than faith and thus hindered me to trust in God to do His miracle/work... However, if i allow my faith to be greater than my own reasoning about things, I'm allowing God to take over the situation and circumstance at hand.

As Christians, there seem to always these 2 elements, faith and reason, jumping at us when we see things happening around us. Though i believe both are important aspects in our Christian journey with God, Jesus requires us to step forth in faith to believe and trust in Him all the time (allowing the faith that we have in Jesus to be greater than the reasoning in us so we can entirely entrust our whole lives, and the things that we do in life to Him).

I know some will argue to say that reasoning is important in its entirety but ultimately, even if we end up reasoning ourselves out of situations or using reason to win arguments, we might still remain unsatisfied - cause questions in life will always come... and these questions are limitless. We never never be sure of our answers, even. But we can be sure that if we trust in faith in Jesus Christ, we will experience His love in our lives, and i can testify to that. His love also promises to satisfy the emptiness in our life and fill it with purpose and meaning. When we seek answers to our questions, we are actually seeking an answer in a person, or more accurately, our Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Nevertheless, I would want to take this opportunity to thank Him for allowing me to exercise faith as small as a mustard seed (faith>reason)... and who knows, the $2 could actually go a long way to serve His purposes and plans!

posted by comeawaywithme @ 10:40 PM